Okay, today's blog will be presented in two parts because the day has just begun and I am certain that I need to capsulize this moment. It's something I have been dooing a lot these days...losing things or rather misplacing them. Isn't that a horribly humbling feeling? Just think about it. I'm 38 years old, a professional and a single-parent, and everytime a day unfolds, before it ends I have lost or misplaced something.
Today, rather this morning, it was my keys. My mind flashed back to the days when we lived in that house on Gray Avenue. My keys hung on a rack near the door and, had I not had that rack, I would've never knew where my keys were.
There also used to be a time when, everytime I would lose something, I would become angry with myself and spue out a few bad affirmations like: "You're stupid Yolanda" and "Why can't you do anything right?!" I was my own worse enemy. I hated myself and I kept reminding myself that I was that same kid that who was constantly reminded by most of my family members of how worthless I was and how stupid I became my song and my mantra and I became my worse nightmare. This was my ritual for years and for every little mistake I sang that song "How could yoube so stupid" and it wasn't until I came in contact with someone who did't think that way about me that I thought there might be something more amazing about me and that every mistake didn't mean I was a failure...It meant that I was human.
The inspiration:
Today, I had to take a deep breath during the hour I sent scouring about the apartment for my keys (looking in every place I hadn't been) to think about why I may have needed to slow down to think for a moment. I had to remind myself that it was okay to lose my keys and misplace my debit card and even my purse...well, it not OKAY in the sense that I NEED to lose things. I mean, it's an indication that I need to be more organized, but not an indication that I'm a failure or that any opf the negative words fed to me as a child (or even as an adult) bore any credence.
Do you feel defeated by your mistakes? It may be time for you to both realize and embrace your humanity. We have to understand why we go through things. Many times, even the small things, will teach us a lesson of incredible strength. If you need prayer for any reason, you can send me an e-mail. I promise not to share your need with anyone except the Lord. You can e-mail prayer requests to yolandawhitted@msn.com ...Don't forget that I love you and I hope this post helps you in some way. GBY! xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment